back to the future

it's amazing to look at yourself now, the self you've become after a period of time and compare it to the self you were then. out of nowhere i watched some videos again (the church of the morning daughter, if you catch my drift). it's amazing to think about the person i was at the height of my momusu fervor. it was only a few years ago, but i was fit, employed, single, and living in what i considered an ideal area. the only downside was an obvious waste of my intellectual potential and the uncertainty of living paycheck to paycheck. looking at me now, i am out of shape, unemployed, in a great relationship, subsisting on an allowance, and living in a place i think the world will look like after it ends. the upside is that i know the path i am taking is the right one and that after my trials here are done, i will be well on my way to not having to worry about living paycheck to paycheck anymore. also, i'm not going it alone.

i'd like to think that through the time that passed, i have made progress. i would like to think that i've moved forward. although i have moved up in some aspects, in others i have made an obvious downgrade. i want to revert physically to the me of before - fast, light on my feet, strong, and fairly shock-absorbant (we used to do parkour for god's sake). intellectually, i am in the thick of things - my brain is on overdrive 24/7 here. financially, i'm not where i'd like to be yet, but my assets are still right where i left them and they are growing, albeit at a slow pace. i want to get together again with my brain trust (puraw wave and boto maki) and relive a time when we were kings. kings not in the sense that we were at our best, but in the sense that our worlds were much simpler and we felt more in control.

although actually, that may not be the best way to put it. i don't want to go back as much as i want to go forward and usher in a new reign. i want us to actually be the 3 kings in terms of finance, relationships, living arrangements, careers, everything. i want to look my compatriots in the eye and say "well done, my friends. we made it". it's a far cry from that time yet, but i know that we'll get there with a lot of effort and a little luck. believe in me, guys, and i will believe in you.