Level Up

one more battle before we level up and move on to the next dungeon. many times before have i spoken of taking on a new beast, a new foe, and they came bearing such names as "organic chemistry", "biochemistry", "histology". following my metaphor, i felled each one and gained points of experience and "levelled up" in this game of life. however, following this path, i have come upon the realization that these foes were not just obstacles to overcome or monsters to defeat and discard. no, instead they are like legendary beasts that once defeated, join your party and can be summoned at will to help face even greater challenges.

the upcoming battle which i am going to spend all summer preparing for is with a foe unlike any i have ever faced before. it stands as the single most definitive battle for the title of healer as of yet. many have battled it and many have survived, however it's not just whether or not you win...it's also how well you win; how thoroughly you can do it. just scraping by and barely surviving is not enough. i need to defeat this beast in such a way as can be compared to turning over a tank...with your bare hands. i need to deflect a meteor; take a bull's tackle head on and karate chop one of its horns off; spread my AT field and catch a falling angel made of highly explosive material; take my spiral power to the next limit and turn a 0.00001% probability of winning into 100% chance of victory. that is the weight and gravity of the situation. but the thing is, it's not as impossible as it seems.

the key to this victory is preparation. endless, unbreakable, relentless preparation. it is attaining mastery over my former enemies and using them as my allies against an even greater foe. it is catching every arrow that has tried to hit me and turning them all back against my enemy. it is eating the dragon of darkness flame and using it as a nutritive to enhance my abilities. to those of you who caught all my terrible anime references, kudos. you are indeed a nerd.

i can overcome, i can succeed, i can move forward. there's no choice but to go on. there's no other direction but up.

the step

second year is fast coming to a close and just as always, the trials and tribulations of examinations are just a stone's throw away. but it's not just the 6th round of examinations or the finals following a week after, but also the comprehensive exam (which will appear on our "permanent records" here in the PI) and more importantly, Step 1 of the United States Medical Licensing Examination.

i haven't faced a battle as hard as this since the NMAT (which ended up being not as hard as i initially thought). but then again, the usmle is a completely different beast, requiring as much preparation as sun tzu would advise for an emperor. for the nmat, i had 4 months of preparation. for the usmle, we have around 6. however, for the nmat, i studied at most for 2 hours a day, a few days a week. for the usmle, we're planning on studying 8 hours a day, 6 days a week, for the entire 6 months. anything less than this is underpreparation.

preparation is the key however. i made it my all-consuming purpose to get the highest score possible on the nmat, and i managed to achieve that. i got a 99+. for the usmle, i would like nothing more than to get a 99 percentile. the doors will open if i am able to jump this hurdle. if that's what it takes to continue on my road to dok, then i will do it.

but what is the end goal of all this test-taking? to see me, in my white coat, competent, strong, confident, and being the kind of doctor that can help people. someone that can save people. i am going to be the kind of man that this world needs me to be. have i come far on my road? i'd like to think that i've grown somewhat. i was able to successfully extract blood from a classmate, assisted in various surgeries, met many patients and did physical examinations on them, and i'm starting to understand the myriad of drugs prescribed to relatives and friends alike. i'm getting there, slowly.

life is short, the art is long...