the step

second year is fast coming to a close and just as always, the trials and tribulations of examinations are just a stone's throw away. but it's not just the 6th round of examinations or the finals following a week after, but also the comprehensive exam (which will appear on our "permanent records" here in the PI) and more importantly, Step 1 of the United States Medical Licensing Examination.

i haven't faced a battle as hard as this since the NMAT (which ended up being not as hard as i initially thought). but then again, the usmle is a completely different beast, requiring as much preparation as sun tzu would advise for an emperor. for the nmat, i had 4 months of preparation. for the usmle, we have around 6. however, for the nmat, i studied at most for 2 hours a day, a few days a week. for the usmle, we're planning on studying 8 hours a day, 6 days a week, for the entire 6 months. anything less than this is underpreparation.

preparation is the key however. i made it my all-consuming purpose to get the highest score possible on the nmat, and i managed to achieve that. i got a 99+. for the usmle, i would like nothing more than to get a 99 percentile. the doors will open if i am able to jump this hurdle. if that's what it takes to continue on my road to dok, then i will do it.

but what is the end goal of all this test-taking? to see me, in my white coat, competent, strong, confident, and being the kind of doctor that can help people. someone that can save people. i am going to be the kind of man that this world needs me to be. have i come far on my road? i'd like to think that i've grown somewhat. i was able to successfully extract blood from a classmate, assisted in various surgeries, met many patients and did physical examinations on them, and i'm starting to understand the myriad of drugs prescribed to relatives and friends alike. i'm getting there, slowly.

life is short, the art is long...

break fast

semester break was too short and too fast, as expected. the time however was wisely spent in pursuit of hands-on learning experiences and in paying due respect to family and relations alike. a very productive trip, i would say. however, we didn't get a lot of free time to ourselves, or a lot of study time as we wanted. but all in all, it was a decent break. looking forward to christmas.

time is passing ever more quickly and the third round of exams and finals passed as painfully as anticipated. the next semester is already here, and with it comes a whole new host of challenges and topics to suffer through. we haven't bested the beasts of second year just yet, and break brought to mind everything i've forgotten from first year's battles. i am nowhere near prepared to take on the most difficult of tests for med students. but i will be. we will be. soon enough.

i think i'm ready for the next level. i think i'm growing closer to that true path every day. things are falling into place, and i wouldn't say all of it was luck. a good amount was hard work, sacrifice, and prayer. fortune favors the brave, as the saying goes, and this could be viewed as one large risk when looked at retrospectively. but i wouldn't say i'm brave or bold. i just chose the path i had to choose.

i'm not a savior. i'm not a hero. but i'm learning how to be one. i'm learning how to be something bigger, something much more than i used to be. something much more than i am now.