the itis

this past week, i have been afflicted with gastritis. for those not in the know, it is an inflammation of the upper GI tract (the stomachness). tuesday morning, awoke to dizziness, nausea, and weakness of the body. every subsequent day until friday came with sharp, stabbing pains in my stomach. what felt like air or a gas bubble wasn't. i've never been to the doctor's office as frequently over the course of my lifetime than i have in the last week. had two sets of blood tests, a sonogram (kinda like moms get to see their babies. only my precious baby was an inflamed GI tract), and an x-ray. according to doctors and webmd, the source of my affliction - abnormal eating patterns, too much soda, and stress/exhaustion. good stuff.

what causes my stress? first of all, working at an occupation that you care absolutely nothing about and being forced to do so by an employer that lives with you is a major source. i hate what i'm doing but i have to do it because it's the only thing keeping me paid and alive right now. also, the constant criticism that most employees can leave behind when they go home, follows me. there is no separation of work and home life. expected to know and be able to do any and everything in my power for a business i don't really give a rat's ass about doesn't help in any facet of my well being. but that's that, and i have no choice but to soldier on until i can reach up and grab that next foothold to greatness.

on a lighter note, we're going to philippines soon. i am quite excited, yet the anticipation won't hit until about a week prior. i'm also heading up to the mile high city to hang with my boys (it's been a little while, boto maki and puraw wave). although i have seen my comrades just a few months ago, it will still feel really good to be around them again. not that i don't relish my time with my comrades here, it's just that chilling with the boys in good ol' CO is a welcome respite away from my gastritis-inducing problems here. looking forward to it, i'll be calling you guys soon. i'm arriving on monday (jun 15) about lunchtime. if dinner's okay with you guys, let me know.

i've been sidelined what with all that's been going on recently. i haven't been to work. i haven't been able to study. i haven't been to escrima class. everything was in shutdown mode. but the time has come to get back to it. i just hope and pray that the strength to carry on, in the face of all the bullshit, is enough to help push me forward until i can get the f*ck out of here.

"Just a little longer. Please let me go on, I feel like I can grab on to something..." - Urameshi Yuusuke, Yu Yu Hakusho

currently: wondering what horrid things and hopefully good ones this week has in store for me; and hoping that i don't end up too pessimistic after all that...