adapted

the new year has begun and i am celebrating it by returning to the indentured servitude of work (at the construction company). every day, i feel miserable being here. it doesn't matter if i am getting paid better than my previous jobs - the environment, the tasks, everything about this job depresses me. never thought i'd have a job that was so bad, even paychecks wouldn't be enough to save it. however, that's just motivation to reach up for the heights and surpass this obstacle.

i am awaiting the sign that will set me free. i am awaiting the physical confirmation of my victory. once i receive it, i can kiss this wretched place goodbye. not that i wish ill things to befall this company - no, far from it. in fact, i want this place to succeed beyond anyone's wildest dreams. it's just that, i don't want to be a part of it. i don't want to have anything to do with this place, when i'm out. hopefully, that will be soon.

everyone's circumstances seem to be changing. for many people, this is a year of new beginnings. it shouldn't be any different for me, either. but, after spending a week in reflection, i feel that i miss so many things. i long for so many things that i cannot have just yet. but one day soon, i will return to the winters of my content and live life according to my wishes. until then, i have to trudge through the hardships and heat and make myself something greater than this.

"I haven't quite adapted to the real world yet." - Watanabe Toru, "Norwegian Wood"