heartbreaker

so, here i am in the home country - philippines. it would be nice to be able to state in black and white terms that "it's good to be back". however, i'd say the feeling's a little closer to bittersweet. i'm here away from the friends and family i know to a whole new set of comrades and cousins. it feels like how it first did in denver - unfamiliar, limited, routine. my world in colorado consisted first of school, my apartment, and every now and then the springs. it eventually expanded to encompass more than just a few streets and more than just classmates. i wonder if it will be like that here?

i am armed with a little more than i had when i first went to denver (car aside). i have a much more powerful entertainment system (thanks, macbook pro), a wider range of music (thanks, new itunes), and a burning sense of confidence in myself (thanks, gurren lagann). when i first went to denver back in 2000, i was timid, lonely, and easily depressed with little sense of purpose or direction. now, i am here in the PI for an incredible reason and a stronger sense of who i am and what i want to become. so, i am not worried about the outcome. i'm just missing some old friends.

i met some of my soon to be classmates today during enrollment. i am pleased, but i also feel a sense of loss over my old study group. where are the wahdans and the trans? what happened to the study sessions at a campus not our own? what happened to the weekends of study punctuated with trips for middle eastern food and spicy kimchee ramyun? where are my golf buddies? where are my fellow best hit generation members? you're not gone, far from it. you're with me, just not physically. just as you helped me before, i know you'll help me again. i'm not doing this alone.

"Abayo ja nai. Issho da rou?" - Simon