timeless

as the autumn months approach, it feels like i have less and less time for anything. work will be picking up soon, and with these extra jobs my tasks will start to pile up. tagalog class starts next week. escrima class will probably pick up since promotion exams are a little ways away. together with the studying i have to fit in, i will effectively have only friday afternoons and part of the weekends free. the other time will be filled up with work, escrima training (in class and outside with friends), tagalog study (in class and my own supplemental study), and nmat/interview preparations. so much to do and not enough time in a week to accomplish everything.

i feel like although i've been getting adequate sleep, i'm still tired. i wouldn't say i'm completely exhausted, but i feel tired still. when i do get a long period of sleep in, i wake up with a headache. there doesn't seem to be a happy medium. or is it that my body is preparing itself for the eventual lack of sleep that accompanies the path i will be taking in a few years? a couple of times this week, i have felt that calm anticipation that precedes a huge storm. there seems to be a void and silence as if soon, a large wave or something will impact. it may or may not be metaphorical, it's just a feeling.

my presence on facebook has become more frequent. i owe it to a lack of any interesting websites and the decreased creepiness that defined facebook when i first joined. myspace and twitter are still absolutely annoying and i refuse to be a part of either. in general, i think i could do without the internet. it makes some things convenient, but otherwise is just as bad as television in terms of unproductive behavior. even right now, i'm blogging - an activity that does nothing for me. no one even reads this stuff aside from whoever is still subscribed to my site and receives the emails. only one or two people ever comment (thanks, boto maki) and i don't really care to "make friends" on xanga.

one of these days, my internet activity will greatly diminish. i think that's ok. don't be sad, very soon, a law may be passed that is going to make the internet like tv (you will have to pay for access to certain sites, only a few sites will be available for your viewing based on what you pay - like cable tv). a friend told me about this, and although i heartily disagree with it based on principle (the internet's big draw is that it's supposed to make information free and available), i wouldn't really care if i couldn't peruse certain sites ever again. fuck that, i don't even want to pay for tv, why the hell would i pay for access to "restricted" internet?

"He'll have to find out that it's part of growing up - getting close to others while distancing yourself from pain..." - Evangelion

currently: preparing to go home