who the hell do you think i am?

after an exhausting day at work yesterday, i arrived home to find a small envelope from the CEM (testing center responsible for my NMAT exam). unable to control the tremors in my hands, i used my sturdy blade to tear open the correspondence. on a small slip stamped with the official seal of the CEM, my NMAT score was received. the cutoff score to get into UERMMMC is a 65-70 percentile, meaning i need to score in the top 35-30% of all the test-takers of this particular period. my score - 99 percentile. translation, i got the highest possible score i could get on that exam, and i can easily make the cutoff score into UP if i had wanted to go there (UP cutoff score - 90 percentile). who the hell do you think i am?

the path is opening up, and now more than ever, i feel that i can do this. indeed, the trials are only just beginning, but this particular juncture has afforded me an insight into my own capabilities and my limits. i feel even stronger now about following this path, and i renew my vow to do honor to all those that have helped me to get this far. i couldn't have gotten here without you, and if i can clear the next hurdle, i swear that i will succeed in this venture and become the kind of man that you believed i could be.

on a different subject, kevin and i spent a good portion of our evening at the driving range yesterday. after hitting balls to absolute fatigue, combined with the punishing workout i received after my return to escrima class on tuesday, my body is tight and feeling the effects of lactic acid buildup. i am hurting, but it's a good hurt. however, with all the events filling up my schedule this week, i have also become absolutely sleep-deprived. so, tonight after work, i plan on doing not a damn thing. plans can wait, people can wait, events can just f*ck off for tonight. if i happen to awaken tonight before the morrow (if i don't just sleep straight through til morning), perhaps some of that time will be spent watching claymore or season 2 of tengen toppa gurren lagann.

this weekend - ufc at a friend's house (i don't like bj penn, but i don't like diego sanchez even more and i don't think bj's going to lose to him), possibly holiday shopping (for myself, because that's what x-mas is really about), and maybe dinner at either tenkaippin ramen or some other badass establishment.

"With every turn, we're growing stronger. We're evolving every second. That is a drill! My drill is the drill that will pierce the heavens!" - Simon, TTGL

"If our belief in you is what gives you strength, then I believe in you with all my heart!" - Nia, TTGL

7-iron

looking back at my old xanga posts and comparing them with the posts i have written here, i notice not only my subject matter but my style of writing has changed. the things i write about nowadays are still full of heady allusions and metaphors but with a continuous positive bent. the messages are cryptic but reassuring, and most of the time they are meant for primarily me. however, i do realize that this blog is not just for me but serves as an update on my life for my comrades as well. therefore, i will try to recapture my previous style and inform as well as entertain.

currently, i am still awaiting the results of my endeavors from these past few months. it will still be a fairly long wait as i must standby until late next month or possibly february. the suspense and the uncertainty are excruciating. every adviser tells me that it's probably a sure thing, and although i do believe in myself, not knowing for sure until a certain time is kind of painful.

my friend and i are losing the passion we once had for our escrima class. don't get me wrong, i still enjoy escrima and the lessons i have learned are irreplaceable. also, my teachers and classmates are good people. i guess the entire routine of it has become weary. the act of going to class and the subsequent discussions and eating out are kind of tiring me out. my brother is thinking of leaving to return to full-time training in muay thai, which is his passion. i am thinking of leaving because if all works out, i will need to be spending my time studying much loftier things than that. i need to review the lessons that not only have i forgotten, but once taught to others.

to keep my mind off of the stressful waiting and the rigors of work, k-fudge and i have gotten into golf recently. we're nowhere good enough to even be allowed on a course yet, but we're working on our skills at the driving range. through careful observation and tips imparted by our good friend d-bit (who has actually played on the golf team in high school), my swing has improved. using a 7-iron, i can actually launch that golf ball a little over 125 yards. it is a small accomplishment, but to an amateur like me, it makes all the difference.

"In other words, love and fighting spirit rule the universe..." - Leeron, TTGL